


Trace my war with your finger tips

by Jenchantress_stories



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Sam Winchester, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, Happily Ever After, M/M, Top Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Sam Winchester, Wincest - Freeform, after 15x20, first time everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 17:06:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30041934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenchantress_stories/pseuds/Jenchantress_stories
Summary: Set after 15x20:Sam and Dean in heaven, cruising through the beautiful landscape, expressing emotions and desires that they had to deny on earth.Sam is overwhelmed having Dean by his side again, arriving in heaven after so long. Things unfold slowly after Sam kisses Dean in an emotional moment. They talk about things they missed and finally love each other the way they always wanted.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 64





	1. ~ young again ~

**Author's Note:**

> I know, there's been a bunch of post 15x20 fics. Here's my attempt. ♥
> 
> It got surprisingly long and I am very late to the party. For a while, I had no idea how to end this one and I was very happy when I found a good, simple ending.

The smooth road, the breathtaking scenery, the warm wind that plays with Sam's hair. There's loud music. The same old tape that both know by heart. 

It feels like summer 2020, but so much better. 

When they leave the bridge behind to continue the ride, Sam was more than happy to ride shotgun again. He slumped into the seat and it was the cosiest spot in the world. Dean didn't say a word, giving his little brother time to arrive and adjust. He knows it's overwhelming. He can see it in Sam's eyes. Even though time feels different up here, he kind of knows that Sam took his time before following him. 

He looks like he didn't age, but it's written on the lines in his face that Sam lived another life after Dean. All sorts of emotions are mixing in his soul the moment he takes off of the bridge with his baby brother by his side:  
**Pride** \- Sam never pulled him back to life and went on his own path.  
**Contentment** \- Now his heaven is complete. Knowing that it's only a question of time for his brother to pop up gave him calm, but now it feels plain perfect.  
**Curiosity** about all the stories Sam has to tell. About all the hunts and all the chicks and all the world events.  
**Grief** about everything he has missed and all the moments he wasn't around to support his little brother. 

Now they are here on the road again, crossing this picturesque scenery. Sometimes, they just look at each other and smile. Still amazed by the fact that they made it here. After a while, their surroundings changes from green forests to huge mountains with snow on top and Dean stops the car beside the road. 

Sam looks down to his hands. He's young again. About the age when Dean died. Probably because he kind of died with him that night.  
_“You want to know what happened after...“_ Sam says, his first words in hours.  
_“Yup, I want to hear it all, Sammy. What happened to you, to Baby, to the bunker, to the Dallas Cowboys and Robert Plant. I need a big update here.“_ Dean grinned his classic self-confidence grin and Sam actually looks at him because he missed him so much. 

_“Robert Plant got really old and died peacefully at home. The Dallas Cowboys won the Super Bowl in 2029. Baby was still around till he end, resting peacefully in my garage. I don't know about the bunker since I left it for good..._  
_“What happened then?“_  
Sam's quiet for a moment. His life without Dean did not started well, finding himself in a loop of self-pity, self-hate and alcohol, but he skips that part.  
_“I got a call. A case in Texas. So I went back hunting since I knew nothing else to do. I didn't feel like meeting with anyone. So Miracle and I hit the road....“_  
_“Miracle! My good boy!_ Dean's face lights up remember their furry companion.  
_“Yeah, he was a good boy. He really was.“_  
_“But don't tell me you've been hunting for the rest of your life?!“_  
_“No! No, I didn't. I saved a woman from some werewolves. She was so scared so I stayed and we got drunk and spent the night...“_  
_“That's exactly the kind of story I want to hear.“_ Dean nudges Sam shoulder with a proud smile.  
_“... well, I left my number in case the werewolves come back or whatever and two month later she called me and...“_  
_...and?_  
_“You have a little nephew.“_ Sam says with a small, fond smile.  
_“NO WAY! NO FUCKING WAY?! You're kidding right?”_  
Sam hangs his head low, shaking it, but there's a proud smirk on his face.  
_”Sammy! You son of a bitch! You were a dad! Man, congratulations! This is awesome!”_ Dean was overwhelmed with joy, nearly jumping out of the car.  
_“What's his name?_  
_“Dean..._ Sam blushes.  
_“Hold on... Dean? You named him after... me...?“_  
Sam nods, remembering vividly how torn he felt. How much he missed his brother but suddenly he was holding this tiny boy in his hands and immediately felt responsible for him. 

_”Man... I'd have been an awesome uncle. Sleep-overs with Scooby-Doo and nachos all night. Pies on every weekend... how to pick up chicks... I'm really upset I missed that.”_  
_”Yeah, you would have been a great influence on him.”_ Sam adds sarcastically, knowing full well that Dean is actually brilliant with kids.  
Sam continues with a quiet voice.  
_”He's a smart kid. Got good grades, never had any big troubles...”_  
_”Sounds more like Sammy Jr. Did he constantly start fights with you?”_  
_”No. Lucky me. But the way he dated girls... I don't know how but he was just like you. All these different girlfriends. Sometimes for one weekend only. Sunday morning, another young lady came down the stairs.”_  
_”Yeah, that definitely sounds like Dean Jr.”_ Dean's grinning about that. He remembers well his teenage years. His world was full of pretty girls.  
_”He is a good boy. Always helping others, always stepping up for people who need help. Sometimes a little too confident. Just like you...”_  
_”So, after all, you got your white-picked-fence life.”_ Dean looks at Sam, but he doesn't seem to be happy about the fact, looking down to his fingers with a tense face.

Dean always knew he'd be missing stuff, missing events, but he was never bothered by that. Being _up here_ in heaven gave him a kind of serenity. However, he feels a heavy melancholy growing in him. Sam seems to feel the same with his eyes staring into nothing. The silence is unbearable, so Dean ignites the engine again and continues driving down the road ahead.

### ♥

In the late summer of 1999, their dad left them at a little hut in the middle of a forest. It was another places he got “from a friend”. It had a bunk bed and a TV with a VHS player plus bunch of old video tapes. Nearby was a beautiful lake. It was vacation season, the weather was good and there were no people around they had to fake a life to. Those were good days. 

Sam and Dean found themselves standing in front of that very hut again that popped up along the road.  
_”This can't be...”_ Dean mumbles.  
_”I remember this. First we complained, because it's in the middle of nowhere, but in the end, we didn't want to leave.”_

They step inside and it all looks the same. The little kitchen in the corner, the pile of VHS tapes with _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ on top. On one side the door to the bathroom with very little hot water. On the other side the broken door to the bedroom with the bunk bed. Sam got the upper bed which was a nuisance because the mattress' springs were so squeaky.

A thin layer of dust is covering every spot. It even smells the same.  
_”Oh my... Look at all those tapes! All three Naked Gun movies! And The Good, the Bad and the Ugly!”_ Dean has the happiest grin on his face.  
_”Yeah, heaven is watching VHS movies on a crap TV.”_ Sam adds sarcastically, but Dean is too happy to care. This really feels like 1999. 

But those were genuinely good days. Even though Sam's idea of leaving was growing strong back then, he enjoyed those few, easy summer days with Dean. No fixed schedule, no other people asking questions, trips to the lake at night. 

While looking around, Sam catches himself in the mirror beside the door. The ageing lines on his face are gone, his hair is brown and fluffy again. No odd pains in his body, no struggling to stand upright.  
_”Sam? You're okay?”_ But Sam doesn't answer. The realisation of being young again crushes him. Arriving in heaven, he knew he was about the age when Dean died, but now he's seeing this clear image of himself in that mirror. _Let me look at you. Yeah, there he is..._

Finding himself young again and - a feeling that he has been missing since then - complete. 

_”Hey, Sammy. Talk to me. What's going on?”_ Dean steps into his view and Sam looks at his own hands.  
_”I'm young again...”_ he finally explains.  
_”Yeah, it's not heaven if I have to push you around in a wheelchair.”_ Dean jokes, trying to keep the mood up.  
_”... I'm about the age when you...”_ Now his voice is small. Memories are rushing in. The pain is still vivid. The emptiness still palpable. The trauma of soldiering on.  
_”Well, I wanted you to grow old, so... I'm glad you did.”_ Dean adds quietly, softly placing a hand on his shoulders.

_”Next time, I'll kill myself.”_

A whisper, barely audible but for Dean. In horror, he looks at his little brother, who's eyes are now glistening and his breath started to hitch.  
_”What... What do you mean?”_

Sam meets Dean's eyes: _”If we ever end up in this situation again, I'll kill myself, Dean.”_ A wave of desperation overcomes him. Suddenly, he's lost and scared and frantic.  
_”Sam, we're here. You're here with me. This will never happen again.”_  
_”YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!”_ Sam's fist now holding onto Dean's jacket, distraught by the fact that they could be pulled back to life anytime. 

How many times did Sam struggle with the thought of bringing him back. Ideas and possibilities crossing his mind. Pulling his soul back to earth or sending himself up by suicide. Those thoughts constantly took their turns. 

Sam's crumbling, shivering: _”Don't you ever leave me again, Dean, I beg you, don't leave me...”_ Solid tears are running down his face and Dean's becoming aware of the pain his little brother must have been through, building a whole new life for himself, marching forward for decades on his own. A normal life, an ordinary family. Sam living seemingly happy and safe. 

But now, his Sammy is falling apart. Decades of emotional distress bursting free. His soul has been in a myriad of wars and none passed without leaving a scar. Nearly choking, incapable to breath in, his life-long affliction taking hold on him. 

Dean's own death caused more damage than anticipated. 

_”Sammy, hey, Sam, look at me. I am here. We are here.”_ Their eyes meet again, even though Sam can hardly see anything with the tears watering his view. _”I promise you that nothing will separate us again. Nothing. And no one. We're here, okay? WE are here... Shh, it's okay.”_ Sam's a mess, unable to get a grip on himself. He acted like he's okay for the rest of his life, now he has no more strength left.

Dean's soothes, voice gentle, while he caresses Sam's hair. _”It's okay, little brother. I  
it's you and me again, and I swear, I'll be by your side now. I won't let anything separate us ever again, okay? You hear me? Sammy?”_

Suddenly, Sam cups his brother's face with his hands and presses their lips together. Like a reflex. Sam didn't think about it, didn't see it coming inside his own mind. Like a kneejerk reaction to underline just how much he needs to feel him. 

First, Dean's frozen, his lips pressed together in a line and Sam realises he messed up but too scared to look at the disgust that's probably on his brother's face. Their lips parting, foreheads touching. The younger one is utterly lost. _”I'm sorry...”_ He whispers.

A million of words flood his mind and he's preparing to leave, because now he has ruined it all. But before he's actually able to move their lips reunite, this time soft and tender. Sam feels a tip of a tongue brush his lower lip, realising Dean got his hand around his neck, pulling him close. Their tongues meet and dance, the vary their angles, because they need it all and everything and now. 

For the first time in forever he feels sheltered and free at the same time. 

Breaking the kiss to hold Sam tight. Dean wraps his arms around him to pull him close because he's still sobbing and overwhelmed.  
_”It's okay, Sammy, it's okay...”_

### ♥

Sam and Dean settled onto the sofa. Sam has his head in Dean's lap, eyes closed, relaxing. Their shoes lie randomly in front of the sofa and the golden sunset underlines the cosy and warm atmosphere of the moment. 

Sam got quiet while Dean's finger brush through his brother´s hair. He stopped crying and now feels exhausted. It literally took a lifetime to figure this out, it seems.  
After sorting his thoughts a little, Sam continues to talk quietly.  
_”In all these years, I never understood why you underestimated yourself. How could you think so little of yourself? You did so much good. Not only for me, but for so many people. Everyone you saved...”_ Dean stays quiet while Sam searches for the right words. 

_”And why did you think I could keep going without you... After everything...”_  
_”...”_  
_”When I left for Stanford, it took only a few hours until I wanted to call you. I checked my phone so often... All the messages I wrote but never send. I made it to Stanford and settled somehow and I got what I wanted but at the same time... I felt so out of place. And this constant voice in my head... I was terrified I disappointed you. I mean, you wasted your whole life taking care of me and all I did was to disappoint...”_ Sam's voice breaks again. 

Dean's quick in shushing him: _”What the hell made you think that? I did so many stupid things, hell, you know I did, but you... Everything I did for you made my life worth living, Sammy. If it wasn't for you I'd been up here since 2006. You got to understand how proud I am. Even though I wasn't able to show I always knew you did the right thing. Always.”_

The older one looks down, seeing Sam's troubled expression, feeling his tense body. _”It's all in the past, baby brother. Whatever happened, happened. You got to let that go, okay? We're here and everything is fine. For the first time in forever, we are actually fine.”_ Dean can feel Sam relaxing again. _”Yeah, I suppose you're right.”_ He smiles.  
_”Of course I am. No matter what, I'm your big brother and I know best.”_ Dean grins and Sam ever so slightly shakes his head about his brother's nonsense. Certain things never change.

### ♥

It's dark when Sam realises he fell asleep. His body is still on the couch, but his “cushion” is gone. He opens his eyes, unable to see anything.  
_”Dean? … Dean...?”_ Silence. And with that, instant panic. _”DEAN!”_

_”I'm here, taking shower, Sammy!”_ A muffled voice from the bathroom. There's the sound of water falling. Rubbing his own face, Sam's annoyed about his overreaction. _We're up here. Everything is fine... Apparently I'm not used to adjust to new places anymore._ A small smile. 

_”Sam? You okay?”_  
_”Yeah! I just got a little confused.”_  
_”I'm right here, you know.”_

Sam gets up and approaches the bathroom. He steps in and sits down on the floor next to the shower. He'd never done that back on Earth, but up here, everything seems a little different. Everything feels still a little off.  
_”Sam?”_ Dean's a little confused about Sam entering.  
_”Yeah, uhm, I'm sorry, I should have asked...”_  
_”It's okay, it's... I don't mind.”_

Sam quietly settles himself beside the shower.  
_”Still adjusting?”_  
_”Yeah, I think...”_ Hot steam starts to fill the bathroom.  
_”Waking up calling your name – that actually happened far too often. That's probably why no relationship with anyone else ever lasted.”_  
_”And your boy?”_  
_”Shared custody... His mother and I didn't live too far apart and he spent a lot of time at my place... That kind of kept me sane. I wanted to give him everything that we never had.”_  
_”You were a good father.”_  
_”How would you know?”_  
_”I just know.”_  
_”I must have scared the shit out of him a few times... screaming in my sleep, because... you know. The nightmares came less often, but never completely stopped.“_  
_”Did you tell him about his awesome uncle?”_  
_”Yes... a lot actually._ Sam smiles a little. _”I think he quite early understood just how much I miss you. It's weird and I don't know how, but he kind of did.”_

Sam's quiet again. Wondering about his son and how wonderful and smart he turned out. _Staying alive, soldiering on, all for Dean._ It was true on so many levels.

_”You know what's also weird?”_ Dean interrupts Sam's train of thought.  
_”The water is still hot. We truly are in heaven.”_  
Dean starts humming and Sam closes his eyes. Whatever soap his brother uses, it smell familiar. The whole moment feels weirdly familiar, even though this never happened before. It feels cosy and good.


	2. Warm sun on naked skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A kiss was just the beginning. There's so much more that needs to be said and done. ♥
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! *hug*

Sam remembers how he once watched Dean taking a shower. It was a crap motel. They've been to many crap motels, but that one was an absolute mess: loose panels on the wall, broken TV, the bathroom door didn't close and the shower curtain was torn. It was extraordinary cheap though. 

But Sam remembers finding himself standing at that broken door watching Dean washing his body, rubbing soap on his head and chest and arms and cock. He was mesmerized when the older one started stroking himself thoroughly until he was hard. Covering his hands with more soap, he continued, one hand at the wall in front of him, one on his dick working. His eyes were closed, probably thinking of some pretty girl. 

Dean looked amazing, his whole body was perfectly worked out, the water running down his well-shaped muscles and his sun-kissed skin. He jerk faster and harder until he came with a soft, oppressed groan. 

When Sam finally turned away from that door, he was hard himself. 

_”Uhm, Sammy...?”_ Dean pulled him away from memory lane.  
_”Yeah?”_  
_”I'm done with the shower and I'd like to get out, unless...”_  
_”Yeah, sorry, I'm...”_  
_”Unless you want to come in...”_  
Sam's heart skips a beat. His usual knee-jerk reaction would be: _You fucking kidding me, right?_ , but now... His head is still dizzy from the kiss.

 _”Forget what I said, it was... just a uhm... - just a joke...”_ , unbeknownst to him, Sam got up, still a little hesitating if he should really cross that line as well. 

A part of him wants to, nearly craves to feel Dean's warm body, alive and well. Another part is still drilled to deny this kind of desire.

But this is heaven and the room is full of unexpressed emotions asking to be lived.  
_”No, Dean, hold on, give me a second.”_ He finally answers, breaking the awkward silence while stripping of his shirt and socks and jeans and everything. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he eventually slips passed the shower curtain and into the hot stream of water. 

There isn't much more than an inch between them. Before any weird tension could rise, and before Sam might regret what he just had done, Dean cups Sam's face. A soft kiss. And another. They close their eyes while the world around them comes undone. It's the two of them and them alone.

Slowly their mouth open and their tongue touch. They taste the hot water, that runs down their faces and the sweet, indescribable taste of the other one. 

Something warm rises in Sam. Maybe it's relief, maybe he finally understands that he is actually here with Dean and that there's not a single reason to hold back emotions? It feels so beautiful that he wants to break down and cry, but he's not going to ruin this moment. This feels too good.

Suddenly, Sam breaks the kiss in panic, staring down at his body, nearly hyperventilating. His cock reacts to the intimate moment, starts to brush Dean's own hard member.  
_”It's okay, I got you.”_ Dean reassures in a soft voice before taking both in one hand, squeezing them together. This deeply intimate interaction affects him beyond everything, sending his mind in a blank, blissful state. Sam's lost for words.  
Dean pours shampoo over their solid dicks, slicks them evenly while stroking. 

Maybe it's due to them being in heaven, maybe it's because this long oppressed fantasy of theirs is becoming real, but the arousal that effervesces through his veins is second to none.

Sam's breath is hitching, a moan slips of his lips, with wide eyes he stares at Dean, who stares right back at him. _”Dee...”_  
_”Shhh... enjoy...”_ The older one moves his hips, rubs his hard cock against Sam's leaking one. Another, louder moan from the younger one.  
_”Does this feel good, baby?”_  
He just nods, unable to form words, just incoherent cries of need that grow louder with each twist of Dean's hand. His attempts to keep them inside are futile.  
Sam's own hips starts to move with a desperation while Dean's hand squeezes them together, creating a friction on both sensitive cocks. Together, they create the ideal rhythm, grinding, pushing each other further into a state of ecstasy. 

Sam's motions become erratic and Dean looks at him again: now his eyes are shut and his head hangs low. His mind is all consumed by the moment unfolding.

 _”Come for me, Sammy.”_  
A last tight twist down Sam's length is enough to push him over the edge. Dean can feel the cum pumping passed his fingers, shooting up just to be washed away by the water immediately. The view of Sam coming in his hands is enough to make Dean join him, watching their spill dripping from each other's members down the drain. 

Sam's shivering and exhausted plus a little overwhelmed when he looks in Dean's soft eyes. He cuts the water, gets them towels and decides for both of them to snuggle in his bed. 

For the rest of the night, Sam hardly says anything, but he won't let go of Dean's hand as soon as they got comfy under the cover.

### ♥

The next morning, Dean finds fresh bacon and eggs in the fridge, plus one big, green smoothie, even though there was definitely no smoothie back in 1999. 

They walk down to the lake, to see if it is really that pretty as they remember it. The scenery is amazing, the blue sky reflects on the calm lake's surface and birds are chirping everywhere. 

Despite their curiosity about how the other one has spend his time alone, they have hardly talked about it so far. The moment Sam arrived, Dean knew he had a long journey behind him. And Sam still has to grasp the fact, that they are reunited.  
_”Before I joined you, what were you doing up here?”_  
_”Me? Not much. First I met Bobby. Our grumpy old Bobby.”_  
_”I thought they locked him away...?”_  
_”They did, but Jack sorted that out. We can now meet anyone we like.”_  
_”And? Who did you meet?”_  
_”I didn't feel like meeting anyone. I was waiting for you and – lucky for me – it didn't take too long.”_ Dean smiles to himself.  
_”Yeah, lucky you...”_

 _”Sorry, I didn't mean to. But I'm glad you lived. I'm glad you had the chance to live a different life. And I'm glad you passed the legacy on. Did Mini-Me ever see the bunker?”_  
_”Mini-Me?”_ Sam laughs, even though it's an accurate term.  
_”Yeah, a mini version of myself, like the villain in Austin Powers.”_  
_”I know who Mini-Me is...”_ Sam's still laughing and Dean smiles at him. It's good to see him laugh.  
_”At some point, I left for good. I never went back to the bunker again, therefore Dean never saw it, but I left him the key and the coordinates, so maybe...”_  
Sam's eyes grow melancholic. Returning to the bunker alone was dreadful. He was so lost. When the call came, he knew he'd be never able to come back.  
_”Let's hit the road again, shall we?_

###### ♥

 _Time really feels different._ Sam thought to himself. It's not something that bothers him, it's just a fact he observes. Maybe night only came because they needed night, or it actually was night.  
_Doesn't really matter..._ To Sam, this feels just right. Riding shotgun next to Dean feels like home.

 _”Is there anyone you'd like to meet?”_ Dean asks out of the blue. Sam takes a moment to think about it.  
_”At some time, yeah, sure. But not now.”_  
_”Okay, let me know if you change your mind.”_ A few minutes later, Sam picks up the topic again.  
_”All the people we couldn't safe are up here as well, I suppose.”_  
_”Yeah, I'd expect so. But they have a good life up here. And they'll be reunited with their loved ones. Don't think too much about it.”_  
_”Won't make a difference anyway, I suppose.”_

 _”Do you ever want to meet Jessica again?”_  
Sam is a little baffled, hearing her name again.  
_”I don't know, actually... I mean, I really cared about her. She was pretty and smart. She supported me a lot. And then I dragged her into my fucked up life and got her killed.”_  
_”Do you think she knows?”_  
Sam just shakes his head. It's a question he doesn't want to think about. 

_”Without her dying, would have joined me to find Dad?”_  
_”Yeah, I think so.”_ Insecurity in his voice.  
_”Do you say that because that's the answer I want to hear?_  
A little twitch in Sam's face. He still feels guilty.

 _”No... I'm pretty sure at some point, something would have dragged me back into it... I remember how comfortable I felt searching for the Woman in White with you. It was odd. I never felt like that at Stanford.”_  
_”Well, it's not like I didn't tell you.”_  
_”I know, I know...”_ Sam sighs. 

_”I'm glad you came and got me, Dean.”_  
Dean smiles. It feels good to hear these words.  
_”Back then, I was too stubborn or maybe too proud to admit, but I missed you. I really did. But what's worse: I was too terrified to reach out. If you had told me to stay away...”_

 _”Me too, Sammy, me too... “_  
_”So, thank you for picking me up.”_ Sam adds, with teary eyes and a smile.  
_”I'm true gentleman after all.”_ Dean jokes.  
_”Yeah sure.”_ Sam joins in with a sarcastic note.  
_”It's true! A gentleman always takes the first step. So, you've been my princess ever since.”_  
_”You're an idiot.”_  
_”Yeah, but I'm your idiot.”_ Big time grin on Dean's face.

###### ♥

Along the road, they find a bar. No one knows them. They assume they will only meet random strangers until they want to see a familiar face. Dean plays poker and Sam watches him. It's a close match but in the end, he has the winning hand. It's heaven after all. 

Drinking beer while sitting on Baby's hood at night. The stars are overwhelming. They fill the whole sky. It's hard to find that view on Earth. Nothing but pure silence surrounds them. A warm feeling of peace fills Sam's heart, calms him. Everything is actually fine. It's like his soul finally settled and left all tragedies behind. 

Sometimes he wonders if he has forgotten something, an important task, an upcoming apocalypse but then he looks at Dean, listens to the music, feeling the car gently cruising along the smooth road. Serenity.

They keep driving. Slowly, the mountains around them become hills and the river beside the road ends in a huge, glistening lake.  
_”Time for a break, I'd say.”_ Dean parks the car by the water and jumps out. The air is hot and the water has the perfect temperature for a swim. Sam enjoys the landscape around them when Dean suddenly starts shedding clothes:  
_”The last on in the water is a chicken!”_ Dropping his second sock, he runs with his boxers only straight into the quiet water.  
_”Hey! That's not fair!”_ Sam complains laughing. Neatly, he folds his clothes before he joins Dean. 

_”That's actually quiet nice.”_ Sam admits, swimming a little, diving a few yards to get his hair wet.  
_”Sam, come over here! The view's amazing!”_ A few strokes with his arms and he's beside his brother. _”Look around! It's beautiful, don't you think?”_

The deep blue sky, a few fluffy clouds, lush meadows. But so far, they haven't seen a spot that wasn't breathtaking. Without a task on his mind and without the need to research on his laptop, he has plenty of time to admire nature's masterpieces around him.

Suddenly, Sam feels his boxers being pulled down, slipping from his feet.  
_”What the hell...?!”_ Sam looks around, realising Dean's gone too.  
_”Dean...!? DEAN !”_ He yells frantically, but a few yards away from him, Dean pops his head above the water, laughing, waving his brother's underwear in the air.  
_”Got you!”_ Dean continues to laugh, then swimming towards the shore.  
_”Dean!? Hey, stop!”_

But the older one steps out of the lake, holding his accomplishment high.  
_”Come and get it, little brother.”_ He jumps a few steps from the lake's bank, still waving.

 _”Dea~~n! That's not fair!”_ Sam doesn't dare to get out of the lake, keeping his lower body parts under water.  
_”Come on, Sam! It's not like anyone's going to see you!”_  
_”I'm not going to...”_  
But without a warning, Dean pulls his own boxers down, running around with both in one hand, waving them with excitement like he just landed a touchdown in a football game. 

_”DEAN!”_ Sam can't believe what he's seeing. Dean running around happy and naked. It's so absurd and Sam can't help it but starts to laugh as well.  
_”Look around you, Sammy! No one's around! We can do whatever the fuck we want!”_ The older one stops beside the car, laying their underwear onto the hood of the car where they can dry.  
_”So, you going to stay in there forever?”_

Insecure, Sam looks around.  
_”Oh, come on. How long we've been driving on these roads? Except for that one bar, we haven't seen a single soul. So stop being such a puritan.”_ Dean offers a gentle smile and finally, Sam gives in, stepping out of the water, bare and naked.  
_”Not so bad, right?”_ Dean seems to be totally okay with it, but Sam makes small, shy steps towards their car.

The air is warm on their skin, drying them nicely. The grass beneath their feet is soft. Sam takes a deep breath in. _”Yeah, it's okay, I think.”_

Dean grabs a blanket from the trunk and spreads it beside the Impala, before he spreads himself on it to bath in the warmth of the sun: _”This is just perfect.”_

For a moment, Sam watches Dean. He has his eyes closed and a subtle smile on his lips. His arms are crossed behind his head and his whole body seems at ease. Back then, at least a part of Dean was on edge, ready to draw a gun or a knife any time. But there's no need for it here. No monsters, no predators, no one's after their heads. 

The younger one sits down beside him on the old, washed-out fabric. It's still soft, somehow. His eyes wander around the landscape, to the few, decorative clouds in the sky, the quiet surface of the lake back to his brother.

His skin is smooth. The scars are still there but no cuts or bruises. Of course, his tattoo still shines bright on his chest. His beautifully shaped body that got every woman on earth weak. _Perfect..._

Remembering the moment in the shower. It felt so ridiculously good, Sam still can't handle it. Suddenly, he feels a growing urge to touch Dean. Not only with his hands, but with his lips and his tongue. He longs to hold him near, to caress him, to taste him.

Sam finds his breath coming short. His body feels hot and it gets even worse when he sees his own dick is close being completely hard. Pulling his knees close to his chest, he hopes his brother is too sunken into a nap to see him in this compromising mood.

_”Come on, Sammy. Lay back. No need to be a prude, now.”_  
_”Yeah... I just... enjoy the scenery...”_

But the insecure tone of Sam's voice tells all.  
_”Hey, what's going on?”_ Dean asks sitting himself beside his little brother. His instant reaction of becoming tense and pulling his knees even closer doesn't help. Unwillingly, Sam has his full attention now.  
_”Are you alright...?”_ Dean looks at him with curiosity. _”What are you doing? I've seen your precious manly part just a minute ago, why are you...”_ With a mischievous grin, he strokes the younger one's shoulder, the other hand is placed on his knee. _”Tell me, Sammy, what were you just thinking about?”_

A blush on his face. Sam avoids looking at Dean. _”Whatever you've been thinking, I might want it too.”_ His voice is soft and reassuring. Ever so gently, he pulls Sam back making him lay down beside him on the blanket, therefore the younger one hides his erected member with his hands. _”Look at me, Sam.”_ And finally, their eyes meet. _”What's going on in that pretty mind of yours?”_  
_”It's just...”_ Sam stammers, desperately looking for words.

The older one kisses him gently and Sam reciprocates, savouring the taste of each other while Dean's hand slowly touches Sam's, stroking his fingers before slipping underneath them, finger tips caressing his cock and his whole body shudders in response. They keep kissing while Dean closes the gap between them, letting his own hard cock poke Sam's hip. 

_”I want you, Sam... I can't tell you how much I want you.”_  
_”But we're...”_  
_”I don't care. There's no reason to care. Don't you think?”_

Sam just stares into his beautiful, green eyes before he gives a quick nod. Dean's hand comes up again, touching his cheek, a finger drawing invisible lines on the soft skin, then lips, before the index slips halfway in. Sam closes his mouth and his eyes before he lets his tongue play while Dean makes small thrusting motions with said finger. 

_”Fuck... you're so pretty like that.”_ Pulling the dripping digit out just to continue kissing him. Sam doesn't see the finger passing his hands, but feels them touching his balls and without a warning, there's a wet touch between his buttocks. Breaking the kiss, they stare intensively into each other's eyes. Dean's finger keeps moving until it arrives at Sam's hole, lightly pressing against it. 

_”You trust me?”_ Dean asks with a sincere voice. Sam nods again.

Dean pushes the tip of his finger in. Sam takes a sharp breath in, closing his eyes again as Dean enters a little deeper, then a little deeper again while the younger one spreads his legs. Dean whispers into Sam's ear: _”I want to open you till you're nice and soft and begging and then I'm going to fuck you, move our bodies together until you cry out, coming hard and I'll fuck you through it, till you can't take it anymore. I'll make you feel so good, Sammy, really, really good.”_ He kisses and licks his ear, neck and cheek while telling him all that.

 _”Do it, Dean, please do it.”_ Sam hitches, too aroused to deny how much he wants this as well.  
_”Spread your legs...”_

It all happens in a soft, dreamy haze to Sam. His whole body feels hot when he lifts his legs so Dean can spread his buttocks and lets his tongue run wild outside and inside his hole. With every finger that the older one adds his desire grows, his hard dick nearly hurting in need for relief. Like Dean promised before, Sam would be begging: _”Dee.., please... I need it... I need it...”_  
Fingers and tongue disappear before Dean finally lines up. 

_”You ready?”_ He pants, waiting for one last sign to cross the last line.  
A quick, distinct nod.  
_”Need to hear it from you, Sammy. Need to hear you're okay.”_  
_”Yeah, Dean... I want it. Please, just... please take me...”_

It's a whole, new sensation for Sam's body as Dean pushes in. There's a painful stretch but the feeling of the older one slipping deeper into him, claiming him with hot need, filling him – Sam has no words for it. 

Dean's pelvis quickly hits Sam's spread buttocks, so he pulls back to thrust it all back in again. And again. And again. Until Sam finally cries out, until he starts to moan because this physical need disconnects his body from his mind and he comes undone under his brother's hands. 

Picking up speed to meet their needs, Dean himself gives into his deepest desire, fucking relentlessly into Sam's soft, tight insides, cursing regrets for taking so long. The older one slams hard and fast while Sam keeps his legs spread wide, offering himself to be taken.

With his eyes closed, Sam hears him groan, hears the skin slapping on skin, Dean's finger nails clawing into his hips while his solid dick rocks his way into him. The intense stretch, the feeling of being wide open and filled completely at the same time. But every time, Dean brushes that one sensitive spot, is what really drives him mad. 

_”Fuck... fuck... this is...”_ Dean hisses, unable to grasp the moment. His eyes are closed as well, so he can focus on the impact on his body as well as listen to every vulnerable sound from his Sam. Penetrating hard, passing the tight ring of his entrance into pure hot softness. He wants to be in him as and deep as possible, ensuring that this is the best thing that ever happened to both of them. 

Sam stops holding back, his voice is loud and clear as his body spirals towards the final moment. Dean loves it. Encouraging him to add a little more thrust. 

_”Dee! Please! Please...!”_ Sam cries, knowing he's close, just needs an extra touch and Dean immediately provides. Spitting into his hand, he makes a fist for Sam to fuck into. He gasps, tenses up before he twitches violently, shooting white ropes all across his abdomen and chest. Dean fucks him all the way through, waiting for him to finish before he finishes himself, spilling his own load with a needy groan deep into him, milking himself on the clenching entrance of Sam's hole before slipping out.

Overwhelmed, they collapse. Dean on top of Sam, wrapping their arms around each other tightly. 

For a moment, they are panting, but nothing else. The warm sun still shines down on them. They are still alone like they are the only souls up there. Sam feels a wet drop running down his chest.


	3. Thank you ♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _”You know, I can do this forever. Like literally forever.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed the ride. :)

_”Dean...?”_ His voice is hoarse. _”You okay...?”_ Sam hears a weak sob.  
_”Yeah... are you?”_  
_”I am.”_  
_”I didn't hurt you?”_  
_”No, not at all.”_

Another long pause. 

_”I wanted this for so long, Sammy. I wanted you like this for too fucking long.”_ Dean nearly whispers, voice a little broken and timid.  
Sam quietly waits for Dean to continue.  
_”And I hated myself for it. I was so disgusted... I can't even tell when it exactly started, but I must have been about 20 when I had wet dreams about you or images of your body popped up in my mind when I jerked off. Fuck... I despised myself. I never shook off the the thought that you left for Stanford because you somehow knew..._

Sam's heart breaks. He wraps his arms around Dean a little tighter. The night he left for California he was just so furious about their Dad, he was utterly unaware of what he's doing to Dean. Silently, tears are filling his eyes as well. Too many unsaid emotions. 

_”No... No, I didn't.”_ Sam answers honestly. _”I was too deep in my own head to really see...”_ He adds with regret, knowing that he was one stubborn teenage boy, yearning for something impossible.

 _”So, we wasted our whole fucking life oppressing this?”_ Dean chuckles, still unable to believe what just happened.  
_”I don't know. If I had known back then... I don't know how I'd have reacted.”_

Silence.

 _”I mean, I felt like a freak on so many levels, with our life and everything.”_ Sam continues. Dean nods in agreement. He denied his inappropriate desire himself. 

_”... and wanting you more than I should added to that.”_ Sam finally says, digging through his memories of long-gone days. _”I was still dreaming about you while sleeping next to Jess. I was utterly screwed.”_

 _”We both were. But we had no idea to what extend...”_

The warm sun is still shining down on them. By now, their bodies are dry again. They stay like this for a while, embracing each other, feeling a little lighter with everything said. 

Sam holds Dean close to his chest, feeling him breathing, feeling his arms holding him safely. Everything is good.

After a while, Dean wants to leave this heavy mood, wants Sam to stop drifting away in his mind.  
_”How about another swim? You're a little messy...”_ He lifts his head and sports his cheeky grin to his little brother, even though his eyes are still wet.

Getting up while he watches Sam sigh with a smile. _”Come on, Sammy. No sticky bum in my car!”_

###### ♥

Sam and Dean feel content. The smooth road, the gorgeous landscape, classic rock blasting from the radio. A calm, blessed state of mind with all the emotions shared and all the secrets set free. Sam's hair is still a bit damp, but his clothes are warm and dry. He can still feel the impact of Dean on his body and it makes him smile. 

_”It's good to see you happy.”_ Dean mentions at some point.  
_”Well, it's all pretty good, don't you think?”_  
_”It definitely is. You, my car, my music... All I ever wanted on a silver plate.”_  
_”Aren't you afraid that something might ruin this? That someone else starts something, frees something...”_  
_”Nope, not at all. And you want to know why? Because we left earth in a pretty good condition, with Jack in charge and stuff.”_  
_”Yeah, you're probably right.”_  
_”If you got any doubts about that, we'll get out of this car and I'll bend you straight over that hood, fucking each and every dark thought out of your mind.”_  
Dean gives a cheeky, but reassuring smile. 

Sam laughs before he closes his eyes for a moment. Taking it all in. _This must be it. We're finally free._ Sam remembers those easy days in the bunker. Going for a run, listening to music, coming back to the bunker and being greeted by the smell of pancakes. Good days.

Only after Dean's death he realised that they finally had a good life. Lazy days, good nights of sleep, proper meals, reading something else but lore. The kind of life he genuinely wanted. 

Everything that happened after their final fight in that barn was dreadful. Driving the Impala. Wondering if he should crash it immediately into the next thick tree. Preparing Dean for his final moment: the watch on his wrist was still ticking and it felt weird since Dean's body went completely silent. He took it off, slightly hoping that Dean's spirit might be attached to it, so he'll be back to haunt him.

That never happened.

Arriving at the bunker and feeling like lying down and never get up again. But Dean asked him to live and there was no way for Sam to disappoint him again, to deny him his very last request. Beside that, Miracle needed food and walks. Dragging their poor companion down his misery was a big NO to Sam. So he soldiered on.

The first weeks passed in a haze. Bars, drinks, hunts, some girls, because Dean would have wanted it like that. If it wasn't for him, Dean Jr.'s mother would have been just another girl. But suddenly, there was this little baby boy and suddenly, he was responsible for someone. He considered running away for a second, sticking to his hope that one hunt will go wrong soon enough, but he couldn't. It wouldn't have been fair towards Dean and Dean Jr.

Dean and him were missing out so much growing up. The whole family thing. Now he had a chance to do better. So he got back in shape and actually got himself a paid job and a proper home, with a garden and a garage and no dungeon. 

Decorating Baby Dean's room was oddly refreshing. When Sam was on his own, he talked to Dean: _”Where should I put the crib? Beside the window? Yeah, I agree, that corner is much better. Do you think it's too early for toy cars? Just kidding... Yeah, I know you would...”_

Dean Jr breathed life into the hollow shell that Sam was, soothed his wounded soul. He was terrified that his mother would take him away when the relationship broke but she didn't. Sam saved her life and know she saved his by staying in the same town with Dean Jr. 

He never forgets the first time, this precious, fragile being fell asleep in his arms. 

He never forgets Dean Jr. happy face right in front of him on a Sunday morning, waiting for his Daddy to wake up and make breakfast. Those big, curious eyes shooed all dark dreams and memories away at once.

He never forgets every trip to the Waffle House after each Baseball game. Either to celebrate victory or to cheer up after loss.

But longing for this never completely stopped. Being beside his brother Dean, listening to the Impala's engine roaring. He was never able to shake off his desire to use a spell or a gun to be united with Dean again. He was never able to handle the loss completely. 

_”Sam? Are you okay?”_  
Dean interrupts his train of thoughts and Sam opens his eyes. Worried, he looks at his little brother. _”What's going on in your head?”_  
_”I really want you to meet Dean. My little Dean. I always wanted the two of you to meet.”_  
_”Sure! Trust me, I want to meet him too. I really wish I'd been around.”_  
_”If you had been around...”_ Sam doesn't need to finish this sentence.

Dean is quiet for a moment.

 _”Do you think he's here already?”_  
_”No, I don't think so.”_  
_”He better grows old like his old man or he'll be in trouble up here with me.”_ Dean adds seriously. He doesn't want that boy dying early like his uncle, or his grandfather, or his great-grandfather. Some tradition should not be kept.  
_”But we will meet. And I'll be anything but proud. I can feel that.”_ Dean adds with confidence. Sam agrees. He's nothing but proud of his son already.

 _”Oh, Sammy, by the way. You sound a little melancholic, maybe even a little sad...”_  
_”Yeah, maybe a little, but... oh, hold on...”_ Sam pulls a bitch-face.  
_”Ha! There it is! That means I was right!”_ Dean laughs. _”I told you what happens when you're upset again and I stick to my word.”_ He adds with excitement. This is the kind of mood that can be lifted with a little, physical interaction. 

In the middle of a barren landscape that resembles Arizona or Texas, Dean stops beside the road.  
_”Come on Sammy, out of the car. I want to see your pretty ass in the sun.”_

Sam blushes as he steps out. But he loves the way Dean looks at him, admiring his body while his eyes wander up and down.  
_”Show me that pretty body of yours, baby.”_

His flannel and shirt land on his seat, once again presenting his chest to his big brother.  
_”Fuck, Sam... We really should have stayed in the bunker to fuck all day long...”_ He takes a few steps around the younger one, wondering what happened to the small, boney boy he used to be.  
_”Hands on the hood.”_ Sam complies and watches Dean grabbing some lube from the trunk. _”Everything we need, right here.”_ He mumbles to himself. Standing right in Sam's view, he opens his fly, pulling out his rock-solid cock that longs to bury itself inside Sam.

A few hard strokes, drops of lube dripping from the tip to the ground, hinting at the load that's waiting to be shot. _”Want that, baby?”_  
Sam nods, impatient for that feeling of being filled and satisfied again.  
_”Then free that perky ass for me.”_ Again, Sam does as he's told. His jeans and boxer pooling at his feet, his own dick is thick and straight from anticipation, his hand are back on the hood. 

_”You have no fucking clue how hot you are. My two most precious things.”_  
_”Dean...”_ Sam mewls. He's needy and it's nearly embarrassing.  
_”I'm right here with you.”_ Stepping behind and pushing two, wet fingers immediately in, thrusting and twisting a little, adding a third one, bathing in Sam's small cries of arousal. 

The fingers disappear and his dick gets into position. _”I always wanted to do it like this.”_ Dean whispers.  
One swift moved and Dean's balls deep into his little brother again, who gives another needy sound. Sam's still soft and open therefore Dean has an easy access. 

For a moment, he stands still to take every little detail of the moment in. The warm sun above, the Sammy's soft skin underneath his hands, his hot squishy insides embracing his sensitive cock, the sound of the shivering breath from his brother's lips, who gently presses himself against Dean.

Dean starts to move his hips with a few single thrusts. Finding the right angle, the best position. Both relishing on the hot stretch that stimulates their bodies, soon rocking fast, skin smacking on skin, all driven by their burning, physical desire and a sweet tingle of need.

Sam's tight, clenching hole and his hot, velvet inside create the perfect friction. Dean's whole length impales his body, filling him, finding them deeply entwined into one needy being. The relentless penetration, the constant hitting of Sam's sweet spot that makes his own cock instantly drooling with pre-cum. 

Dean's nails dig deep into Sam's hip-bones as their chase for satisfaction becomes violent. Every motion demands for more. Pornographic sounds mixed together, Dean's grunting and Sam's moaning non-stop, begging: _”Dee... plea... Need more...”_

His lubed hand grabs Sam's cock, jerking it tight as he demands: _”Come on, baby. Fuck yourself.”_ He clenches his fist tight, nearly painful, but Sam never slows down. _”Shoot. Want to feel you come hard on my dick.”_ Dean pants, moving Sam's hips so his fucks into his fist, getting him everything he asks for.

A loud cry of relief and a straight white line hitting the black hood, dripping from its edge. The convulsion of his body, leading to the extra-tight grip of his entrance is all Dean needs to spill his load deep into Sam again, marking him, because he belongs to him now and nothing will ever change that again.  
Both are panting hard as Dean slips out, taking a few steps back to enjoy the view. Sammy, drained and bend over his beloved Impala, with his wet-glistening ass and a thin-white thread dripping down. It's just perfect. Sorting himself, he softly caresses Sam's hair. _”You okay?”_  
_”Yeah... Definitely... and happier...”_ He grins, despite being exhausted.  
_”Turn around.”_ Sam does and sits himself on the spot where his own cum sticks without noticing.

Tired but happy, Dean pushes some hair strands out of Sam's face.  
_”You know, I can do this forever. Like literally forever.”_ Dean says, eyes locked with Sam's. The younger one smiles, eyes glistening. 

_”I meant what I said. It's always been you and me.”_  
Dean adds and now, tears fill Sam's eyes. Overwhelmed by happiness. Because this is forever.

They kiss. Gentle, slow, intensively. And there's nothing else Sam's asking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ♥


End file.
